The Hustles, Hassles and Happiness of Christmas

I love Christmas. I think it’s amazing that we have a holiday that celebrates the birth of the Savior of the world. Even secular radio and TV stations broadcast a gospel message, sometimes without being fully aware of it. I thank God for this blessing.

But Christmas is also an odd time of year. I think it has its downside too.

According to the song by Andy Williams, Christmas is “the hap-happiest season of all”. But, somehow, most of the time it does not feel that way. There seems to be more stressors during November and December than at any other time. Let me rant a bit.

Four Christmas Hustles

Here are a few ways that the voices that permeate the airways during the holidays seek to hustle us:

Hustle #1: There’s such a thing as “easy credit”.

One of the ancient proverbs notes that the “borrower is slave to the lender.” No matter how low the interest rate is, borrowing money still puts you in the position of obligation. “Easy credit” has made you a slave till the debt is paid off.

Hustle #2: The Christmas spirit is found at the mall.

They even have the decorations to prove it! It’s easy to get caught up in the spirit of Consumerism and think that you now have the spirit of Christmas. Don’t be fooled, call it by its real name.

Hustle #3: Giving expensive gifts shows how much you love someone.

An extravagant gift can, in fact, demonstrate your love. But so can time spent with them, thoughtful little gifts, or even a well-written card. Putting yourself or your family in a deep hole financially is not the way to show love. To re-phrase a Dave Ramsey statement, a lot of times we spend money we don’t have, for gifts we can’t afford to impress people we don’t even like. Something besides love is driving a lot of modern day gift-giving.

But, you may say, what if someone gives me a very expensive gift? Shouldn’t I reciprocate? Not if you can’t afford it. Give what you can afford, and accept what is given you with thankfulness.

The best way to avoid this hustle is to budget – at the start of the calendar year – how much of your annual budget will be spent on gifts. It’s fairly easy to determine; and doing it at the beginning of the year will take all of the emotion out of it. Believe me, as a father to four sons, four daughters-in-law and twelve grandchildren, this is a necessity.

Hustle #4: Everyone is in debt, so don’t worry about adding more.

If this is what your inner voice is telling you, it’s time to tell it to shut up. The first part of that statement is basically true – virtually everyone IS in debt. But now is the time to get your inner voice to say, “Don’t be like everyone else!”.

Four Christmas Hassles

Hassle #1: Which set of parents gets the Christmas Day visit?

This was a serious issue in our marriage since each set lived 650 miles in opposite directions. As the kids got older, we decided to start our own at-home Christmas traditions and settled on visiting at other times of the year.

But what if they live in the same town, like three of my sons’ in-laws do? This calls for some compromise on both sides – and sometimes it gets dicey. (This is why I call it a hassle). My advice is to go with the flow. This year, for example, we have decided to have Christmas brunch a few days after Christmas, in order to accommodate everyone.

Hassle #2: My shopping list is so long!

Shorten it. Seriously. See all four “hustles” above.

Hassle #3: Juggling competing Christmas traditions.

This can bring some families to loggerheads, so tread carefully.

When we were raising our boys, we would attend a Christmas Eve service and afterwards eat pizza and then have a birthday cake for Jesus - white cake with chocolate frosting a must - and ice cream. Then we would watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Gifts were opened on Christmas morning, in an orderly manner, youngest to oldest, one at a time. (That was the CPA coming out in me!)

But when my sons got married, they married into other traditions (and they were all, I think, sick of Jimmy Stewart). Some traditions were kept, some were discarded, and some were modified. I believe the trick for parents of grown children is to recognize the autonomy of their married kids. The compromise for the married kids, on the other hand, is to honor traditions when they can – and try hard not to denigrate traditions their spouses had to let go in the compromise.

Hassle #4: Too much travel, too many parties – where’s the joy?

If you’re like me, this may be one of those hassles that you more or less have to put up with. I am a person who gets re-charged by being alone. My wife, on the other hand, is one that finds life in parties and visiting with folks. My approach to this is to settle it in my head – before the season even starts - that I need to enjoy it. I tell that part of me that wants to stay home and be a hermit to just shut up and enjoy these endless celebrations.

And, as I get older, these Christmas gatherings mean more and more to me. (My wife says I may be turning into an extravert!) As Frank Sinatra sang:

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more

Bonus Hassle: The decorations!

Pulling all those boxes out. Stringing up the outside lights. Decorating the tree. Putting the little houses under the tree. Putting up another tree on the back porch; and now one for the finished basement. Every year buying new lights due to built-in one year obsolescence. Having to find ways to make the TV remote work even though the garland is now in the way.

Then, taking it all down, packing it all up, stowing it away for next year.

But I have even come to like this part (notice I did not use the term “love”). I love my wife and have come to understand that one of the ways I can show my love is to help her with this. I usually get up in the morning before Deb. During the Christmas season I make sure to turn on the Christmas tree lights before she gets up because I know it makes her happy to see them. And it makes me happy when she’s happy.

I know this is probably not a hassle for most of you. It’s certainly not for Deb. Because, to her (and millions more – including Clark Griswold), this is one of the joys, not hassles, of Christmas. And I’ve come a long way on this. I even bought more lights for outside – and enjoy seeing them come on. (But it’s still a hassle.)

Finding Christmas Happiness

So how do we find Christmas happiness amid the hustles and hassles?

First, by keeping the main thing the main thing. Or should I say, the main Person. It’s becoming a trite saying, but Jesus is truly the reason for the season. In everything you do, try to re-focus your mind on him.

Secondly, wherever you are, be all there. At every Christmas function or activity, make every effort to leave all other issues, thoughts and worries at the door. If it’s one of those hassles, try to focus on the task at hand with thankfulness and the joy of the season (as you are climbing that ladder or untangling those lights). And when around people, even those you don’t particularly get along with, give them the gift of your full attention, concern, and, yes, your love. It’s Christmas!

From our home to yours – Merry Christmas!